Plot Summary
In The Secrets of Happy Families, Bruce Feiler says that most books about child-rearing or family life are now outdated, and he has tried to write a book which modern-day parents can relate to. As a result, many of his tactics for a happy family life are taken from the business model. For example, he interviews the Starrs who manage their family life by having a daily kid-related checklist and a weekly family meeting. The family meeting soon becomes one of Feiler’s favorite ideas in the book because the freedom to express their opinion means a lot to family members, even if they are children.
Feiler also has advice about children’s allowances, which he got from a banker that Warren Buffett trusts and advice on family meals given by a well-known chef. Sometimes, Feiler’s advice is different from that given by most people e.g., he doesn’t absolutely insist that dinner time should be reserved for family. He also suggests that you let kids pick their own punishments, something that may sound contrary to what most people tend to believe.
Overall, Feiler’s advice is on point because of his personal experiences raising eight-year-old twin daughters. His practice of getting advice from real people who have been successful in their fields also makes for an interesting as well as informative read. Feiler’s extensive use of examples is reminiscent of Dale Carnegie who did the same in this landmark books, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living and How to Win Friends and Influence People. If you’re looking for a practical and inspiring read, The Secrets of Happy Families should be right up your alley.
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Bruce Feiler is a native of Savannah, Georgia who studied at Yale University. After getting his Bachelor’s, Feiler went to teach English in Japan and later wrote Learning to Bow: Inside the Heart of Japan, about his experiences. He then got his Master’s in International Relations from the University of Cambridge in the UK, an experience that he wrote about in Looking for Class. He is best known for his books about faith, family and finding meaning in life, such as Walking the Bible, Abraham and America’s Prophet. He has written four consecutive New York Times non-fiction bestsellers in the last decade. He lives in New York with his wife and twin daughters.
“Feiler has an engaging style…and his primary thesis—that people should
work as diligently on their families as they do on their careers—is well
worth exploring.”—
Washington Post
Publisher Summary
- Don’t worry about family dinner.
- Let your kids pick their punishments.
- Ditch the sex talk.
- Cancel date night.
These are just a few of the surprising innovations in this bold first-of-its-kind playbook for today’s families. Bestselling author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler found himself squeezed between caring for aging parents and raising his children. So he set out on a three-year journey to find the smartest solutions and the most cutting-edge research about families. Instead of the usual family “experts,” he sought out the most creative minds—from Silicon Valley to the set of Modern Family, from the country’s top negotiators to the Green Berets—and asked them what team-building exercises and problem-solving techniques they use with their families. Feiler then tested these ideas with his wife and kids. The result is a fun, original look at how families can draw closer together, complete with two hundred never-before-seen best practices.
Feiler’s life-changing discoveries include a radical plan to reshape your family in twenty minutes a week, Warren Buffett’s guide for setting an allowance, and the Harvard handbook for resolving conflict. The Secrets of Happy Families is a timely, counterintuitive book that answers the questions countless parents are asking: How do we manage the chaos of our lives? How do we teach our kids values? How do we make our family happier?
Written in a charming, accessible style, The Secrets of Happy Families is smart, funny, and fresh, and will forever change how your family lives every day.
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